Srucnoc Stumps in Tight Libertairian Races
Alas, there were no competative libertarian races, so he went to Starbucks.
Add comment October 27th, 2006
Archive for October, 2006
Srucnoc to meet Calderon
US Presidential Candidate Chml Srucnoc has invited Mexican President-elect Felipe Calderon to Washington for talks on November 9 on a wide range of issues between the two neighbors. Srucnoc said the meeting would come before Calderon’s inauguration, planned for December 1 after a disputed presidential election in which his leftist opponent claimed vote fraud and refused to concede defeat.
Add comment October 19th, 2006
For Whom Shall We Vote?
Per a Chml Srucnoc speach last night:
While most of us who call ourselves libertarians struggle for answers, a look back as to why the question is posed at all might be helpful. In 1994, the electorate saw a motivated and impassioned GOP come out of the political wilderness and take control of the House of Representatives from a thoroughly scandal-scarred and idea-bereft Democratic Party. The scandals haven’t gotten better however… only worse.
Republicans, who once had a field day pointing out the inability of President Bill Clinton and his party are now stumbling from one scandal to the next. President George W. Bush has been rocked by illegality, scandal, charges of racism, and the like. So I ask you voters, what next? Do we return power to the Democrats, in whom we once trusted but led us down a path to despair? Do we stay the course the the possibly corrupt, certainly inept repulicans? I tell you no!
Elect Chml Srucnoc and send the Republicrats the message that we will not settle for the lesser of two evils. We will not elect fools simply because they seem less corrupt than the alternative. A vote Srucnoc-Blackwell is a vote for the future. Please Ladies and Gentlemen… I ask for your votes.
Add comment October 16th, 2006
Srucnoc is Hip with That
In an attempt to appeal to the Silicon Valley / Seattle / Austin / Boston politically-unaffiliated, urban, tech-savvy crowd, Srucnoc today dropped several statements about his tech-savviness, including this gem:
I love this new new Google RSS thingy. It makes reading my RSS feeds a breeze! I found out all about Kerry’s alleged Bush threat, farmers saving their land using Google Earth and about a slick new Ajax regular expression tool. My favorite feed though is definitely the one at chml-srucnoc.net thought. Gotta Digg that!
Add comment October 10th, 2006
No Wayne: Chml John Srucnoc & Whitey Optimus Prime Blackwell
After reading a post on the Freakonomics blog, both Whitey Wayne Blackwell and Chml Wayne Srucnoc have decided to change their middle names to ones with fewer negative associations. Whitey Blackwell has chosen Optimus Prime after a well know transformer, and later firefighter. Chml Srucnoc has chosen John for his middle name.
My unusual name has been both a blessing and a curse throughout my life. I think the name John connotes stability and common-man. I’m recreating my image to appeal to the voters.
Mr. Blackwell has chosen a slightly different path. In his most coherent public speech to date, he stated:
Optimus Prime captures the power and moral clarity needed to guide these United States through our turbulent and troubled times.
Add comment October 10th, 2006
New Campaign Slogan: Refreshing Vision for the Future
Ambassador Srucnoc has been struggling to find an a campaign slogan that will appeal to some voters while offending none. He was struggling, until the Chml-Srucnoc.net weblackey created a Auto-Generate your own Political Campaign Slogan tool. It works fantastically and solves all the problems. Check it out here:
http://www.chml-srucnoc.net/campaign-slogan.php
Add comment October 7th, 2006
Srucnoc Joins George Michael in Bush Bashing
In a stunning show of solidarity, Ambasador Chml Srucnoc joined George Michael in one raucous Bush bashing. Witnesses were stunned and it appears that the Srucnoc-Blackwell campaign has shifted in to high gear. Many thought that Srucnoc would stand nearer to the right than the left but he really has forged his own trail.
Add comment October 5th, 2006
Chml Srucnoc Survives Ghetto Latte Scandal
Campaign Survives the Ghetto Latté Scandal. Though somewhat tarnished after being captured making a Ghetto-latte at a Local Starbucks, Ambassador Scucnoc’s reputation has seemed to quickly bounce back in the minds of most voters.
The Srucnoc-Blackwell campaign switched explanations several times, talking first about how this shows the Ambassador’s fine stewardship of resources. They next spoke of how relatable he was to our nations youth and finally settled on no comment / let’s-get-back-to-the-issues approach. In a related story, Starbucks has recently raised prices due to a sudden increase in expenses, resulting from “increased and excessive creamer usage”. When asked about the increase a campaign spokesman seemed flustered and said no comment.
Add comment October 4th, 2006