Posts filed under 'Chml'
Barak Obama was one of 60 speakers invited to “share his views on AIDS, not abortion or any other issue,” the Warrens said in a statement issued by their Saddleback Valley Community Church. They added that Obama and Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.) will “present two different political perspectives” at the weekend “Summit on AIDS and the Church.” Chml Srucnoc fully supports Mr. Warren’s decision and believes that those critical of the decision, “are simply misinformed”. Ambasador Srucnoc is quoted as saying, “The evangelical community cannot find even two among its ranks who agree on every issue. To expect every speaker at a summit on AIDS and poverty to be so unified shows that (those expressing criticism) are out to lunch.”
November 30th, 2006
Upon further review, it seems libertarians have never had a national elected candidate. This was such a relief to Ambassador Srucnoc, he decided to take a nap. It’s been a hard 18 months of campaigning. Nervous staffer are drawing straws to see who has to remind him that his election is still 2 years away.
November 12th, 2006
After reading a post on the Freakonomics blog, both Whitey Wayne Blackwell and Chml Wayne Srucnoc have decided to change their middle names to ones with fewer negative associations. Whitey Blackwell has chosen Optimus Prime after a well know transformer, and later firefighter. Chml Srucnoc has chosen John for his middle name.
My unusual name has been both a blessing and a curse throughout my life. I think the name John connotes stability and common-man. I’m recreating my image to appeal to the voters.
Mr. Blackwell has chosen a slightly different path. In his most coherent public speech to date, he stated:
Optimus Prime captures the power and moral clarity needed to guide these United States through our turbulent and troubled times.
October 10th, 2006
Presidential hopeful Chml Srucnoc pledged to day to take a stand against what he called, “unfair, inhumane and egregious” late fees. He read about some of these fees at today’s addiction blog and was outraged.
“Is this the kind of America we want to live in? I know I don’t“
Reporters reminded the Ambassador that he’s a libertarian. Srucnoc acknowledged that the typical libertarian approach would be to let market forces and individual freedoms decide these matters he also said, “But I’m not your father’s libertarian“. Ambassador Srucnoc seemed tipsy when making these statements and many libertarian faithful are hoping he retracts them after a good night’s sleep and a cup of joe.
September 27th, 2006
Deputy Chief of Staff Liz “Swarthy Lass” Pringelsworth has left the campaign and has devoted her attention to campaigning full time for Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg in the Who Is the Paris Hilton of the Federal Judiciary? competition at Underneath Their Robes. In a statement Ms. Pringelsworth praised the hard work of all the staffers and the troops on the ground.
“I treasure all the memories I have helping the Srucnoc-Blackwell team take back America from the special-interests. There isn’t a finer group of people anywhere that the staffers for this campaign”
While we’re attempting to keep our heads from getting too big, “Swarthy Lass” mentioned the staff of chml-srucnoc.net by name, when she, reading from her statement said:
“…and I particularly enjoy the witty blog at chml-srucnoc.net and fully expect to have my very own post on Monday about this resignation.”
Your wish is my command Ms. Pringelsworth and may ye always be full of sprite and swart.
About Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, was born in Brooklyn, New York, March 15, 1933. She married Martin D. Ginsburg in 1954, and has a daughter, Jane, and a son, James. She received her B.A. from Cornell University, attended Harvard Law School, and received her LL.B. from Columbia Law School. She served as a law clerk to the Honorable Edmund L. Palmieri, Judge of the United States District Court for the Southern District of New York, from 1959–1961. From 1961–1963, she was a research associate and then associate director of the Columbia Law School Project on International Procedure. She was a Professor of Law at Rutgers University School of Law from 1963–1972, and Columbia Law School from 1972–1980, and a fellow at the Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral
Sciences in Stanford, California from 1977–1978. In 1971, she was instrumental in launching the Women’s Rights Project of the American Civil Liberties Union, and served as the ACLU’s General Counsel from 1973–1980, and on the National Board of Directors from 1974–1980. She was appointed a Judge of the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit in 1980. President Clinton nominated her as an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, and she took her seat August 10, 1993.
September 25th, 2006
After reading this morning that Time Magazine may be up for sale, Srucnoc began high level discussions with Time Warner Executives to purchase the publication with funds donated from the personal fortune of Mr. Blackwell. A high-level official speaking anaonymously would only say that the offer price was “in the high 9 digits”. Th interview became interesting when the official was asked why the campaign would consider such a large investment this early in the campaign. At first he demured, but later, in a long and rambling distribe aluded to “free campaign ads” and “good karma”. We expect news on the takeover to break later this week.
September 25th, 2006
Some of Hollywood’s most influential Democrats are throwing their support behind Amb. Chml Srucnoc’s election bid, following the lead of Abe Froman, James Bond and fan favorite Arthur Dent.
Srucnoc’s campaign sent out hundreds of invitations this week to an event — hosted by Bilbo Baggins, Draco Malfoy, the lovely Connie Bratter and more than two dozen others — asking the Hollywood glitterati to donate up to $300 each to attend a fundraiser for the libertarian hopeful.
Political insiders all say that the ambasador’s Hollywood supporters — generally more middle of the road than outspoken liberals such as Michael Moore and other loudmouths — are willing to support Srucnoc because they feel he has taken a nonpartisan approach to some of their key causes, including stem-cell research, the war on drugs and global warming.
This is a very significant list of names of major Democratic donors and major entertainment-industry leaders, And there are likely to be others.”
Underpaid consultants for Srucnoc’s opponent, the unflappable Robert Langdon, downplayed the support.
“It’s basically a group of people who are social friends of Chml and his wife, and I don’t think it is anything beyond that.” said Darth Vader.
Former President Bill Clinton, has significantly refused to pick sides, apparently waiting to see is his wife, Senator Hilary Clinton, decides to throw her hat in the ring.
But there is no doubt that Chml Srucnoc has amassed a powerful collection of heavy hitters. “He’s the best man for the job,” Baggins said. We couldn’t agree more.
September 18th, 2006
Washington, D.C. - U.S. Ambassador Chml Srucnoc (Narnia) put out a reminder today that his Earthly office is accepting applications through October 16th, from young men and women interested in seeking nominations to the colleges of choice. “Even if I don’t know you, I have some staffers that could sell a hat rack to a moose”.
Ambassador Srucnoc encourages all highly motivated individuals who express an interest in college and who have money to give to his campaign, to apply for a nomination through his office. Chml Srucnoc said “I truly feel that making nominations to these instituations of higher learning is one of the most privileged and rewarding responsibilities of a U.S. Ambassador.”
September 17th, 2006
Chml Srucnoc has only today decided to enter the race so all may be lost, but he’ll give it his best effort. We pledge to keep this site as current as necessary so that you will know as soon as we do every late-breaking juicy bit of campaign fodder. Best wishes to the other candidates. 
September 16th, 2006